in situ

Pirate Pimp at the  car park paying machine.

Paris withdrawing more cash!

Hail Caesar. Sassy pants in a phone box!

more guerilla art in progress

Here are 4 creations, all set with 

messages to be let loose on the world!

Caesar!

Pirate Pimp!

Clive the Hulk!

 Paris!

"I am Caesar. Look at my furry pants!"

                      

                                            "Luke, I am your father."

"I've lost my chihuahua!"

"Pimp my pirate ship."

art stuff done by my learners

Totem pole heads! A display that will be loaned to the local library. 



An art piece called 'Dig in.' Not sure how much this was planned and how much just chucked together and called something fancy. No, actually I think I do know.

Air drying clay chickens for Easter...and bunnies and flowers. Other projects included an ash tray with a bunny smoking a spliff.

Coins. Led by two ladies from the museum getting the group to express what they would like to see on a coin if they were in charge of the country. No great shock about the images that cropped up there!

An idea from 'The Guerilla Art Kit.' 

Page 95. 

'Making Friends.'

Maybe someone will like my eyes!

This one was great!

Really

tasty 

one. 

Can't remember where I bought it but I wish I'd bought more than the one bottle. The Ruby Cabernet I had before was a real disappointment but this was quite nutty on the nose, full and juicy on the palette. Label said black cherry but I thought blackberry.

Istanbul, last month. Some snap shots

guerilla art

Mini-me got 9781568986883 for his birthday and I'm going to nick some of the ideas out of it. So, today I have planted up 12 sunflower seeds in prep for some guerilla gardening later in the spring. Once they have germinated in their little peat pots, I'll take them down by the river, somewhere I regularly walk my dog, and plant them. It'll be fun walking past them every day to see how they're doing and also imagining other people's surprise and hopefully enjoyment when they see a random patch of up to a dozen sunflowers where you wouldn't expect them. Might even bring you pictures if you're very lucky.

Twitter kickback

Somewhat irked by Twitter only allowing you a few characters.

Back to blogging.

Have been covertly putting together an adventurous proposal to give to the management when the management came to me and asked if i thought the very ideas i had been putting down would be feasible! Nice work.

Just bought a remote controlled aeroplane. For work. Now, obviously, scared that it won't work and I will have spent £20 on a piece of tat. We shall see.

A story I heard today...

My aunty Nigel had been dead for three days before anyone knew. Uncle Sally had been talking to her for three days before he realised. He didn't smell anything because he'd lost his nose in the war. A pigeon ate it.

I know Trevor Brooking















's second cousin. But just found out today. Interesting huh?

more cool work stuff

BBQ with the guys from work on a beautiful warm Friday afternoon




Results of sewing skills project at work.

bush tucker

Today, at work, we took a bunch of the guys out to the woods with someone who leads day trips out learning survival skills. We put up shelter then started a fire. He showed us how to make fire by wood rubbing, making tinder from denim, getting sparks from batteries and steel wool and another contraption i don't remember the name of. We built up a 'fast burning' fire from tiny sticks and it grew into a real blaze. Once it had settled down, we cooked a whole chicken over the top of it. We whittled sticks to heat up our, not so survival style, sausage rolls. It was a fantastic day. The guys got on really well and I now stink of smokey wood fire. So much fun!

Today I was asked...

'Have you ever, in an outrageous burst of childhood idiocy, tried to sharpen a body part?'

New job: week 2

Went bowling in Milton Keynes at the end of the week. For work.

New job: week 1

This afternoon I'm going up the driving range. And it's work!

international man of mystery

I couldn't take enough pictures of the pack ice at the glacier. It was one of the things I really wanted to see while on Svalbard. Of course I wanted to see a lot more wildlife than could reasonably be expected but i did see a whole lot of birds that a) you wouldn't see in the uk and more importantly b) my parents haven't seen yet!!


We were really lucky to get to this glacier. It was only because the weather was good and there weren't many people in the boat that we made good time and could fit it into the schedule. It was the best moment of the holiday for both of us.

a canine theme

Huskies are very common in Svalbard and are used as working dogs. We had the opportunity to go sledging with dogs while we were there. As it was summer there wasn't enough ice so the sledging was on wheels but as excellent compensation, there were puppies!! There were five at the place we went to and it was a wrench having to leave them with their owners. Even the tour guide for the day checked the insides of my coat to see that i wasn't stowing any away!

We harnessed up 8-9 dogs at the front of the sledges and took it in turns to drive. I thought initially it was a bit harsh on them pulling us just for the pleasure of it but as soon as we got to the cages where the dogs were kept the racket of them all howling to be allowed out and work was deafening. These guys love working! They jumped at the leashes when we had to put the breaks on.

On another occassion we went for a 3 hour trek with a husky and while we were struggling to cross rivers of melt-water, the dogs just trotted through never noticing the cold (literally glacial!) or current. Awesome beasties!

One night we went to a villmarksgrilling - wilderness BBQ - and learnt more about the dogs there. The guy running the evening presented a slide show of his annual trips out to the arctic wilderness with the dogs. They snuggle down outside at night but he told us not to feel sorry for them because it doesn't affect them at all and that they would often come out in the morning and see no dogs at all because of the snow then gradually ears would appear and then the rest would follow!

glacier

There will be more of these to follow but i can't wait to show you this one. It just got more and more stunning the longer we stayed.

midnight sun

Here's a picture from a trip I have just come back from in Finland. This was taken at two thirty in the morning, many miles above the arctic circle on the island of Spitsbergen, Svalbard. We went on a split site visit of Norway, starting with several days in Oslo. Svalbard was by far the most exciting part of the trip as I hope my entries will show.


This may also a 2:30 am snap (there's really no telling between them!) showing where we stayed during our four days. Svalbard lies approximately 700 miles south of the north pole and is fabulously rich in wildlife. We had some incredible trips out that really made this one of the best trips of my life.



The scenery was stunning and we were really fortunate with weather. It was pretty nippy at times as you'd expect but we had a lot of clear skies and of course the sun never went down!

Edinburrow

Taking a week's holiday with my travel bud Margaret from The States. We've had a blast so far; the zoo, portrait gallery, st andrews, fishing villages of fife, oban, castles and lochs, cinema, stand up comedy lunch time and a pile of other stuff i can't remember.

All good stuff though....now just checking the temperatures in Svalbard for my holiday later in the month!

Two working days left .... new job starting September 1 .... house nearly complete .... mini-me finished exams ....

Abington Pigots

Spent a fab afternoon with Borrower and Kid A in their new home and pub. Loving the 'banqueting hall' loft and hospitable kitchen table. Shall I bring the sellotape next time?!!

back online!!!

Back online again after the house fire. Now working off a swish laptop loaned to me by mole. team points heading his way.

Have had a fab weekend in London.

Friday night we went to the Royal Albert Hall to see the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra play. Tres cool. It was called Filmharmonica and they played loads of scores from films. Wore posh frock and crippling heels bought last week for the annual conference. Lots of fun.

Saturday night we went to the National to see Fram - the new play by my hero Tony Harrison. It was pure brain food. Wonderful stuff. Amazing set, very clever script all in rhyming couplets, witty, thought-provoking and complex. It had so much packed in there - debate on Darwinianism, poetry as consolation, art v pragmatism, political and historical commentary. It was a stage drama but also included film, ballet and music. One particular speech blew me away where a woman (playing an actress) is defending art as a means of making the world better informed about a famine that is going on, her critics say art cannot produce results in the way action can. She then starts to play out a starving woman who speaks to the audience about her pain and self-loathing about having turned cannibal from hunger. It was played with pathos and brutality. She used her body in an amazing way to look weak and starved. It was electrifying. We talked for a long while afterwards about what the play was saying.

This afternoon we had a picnic in Crystal Palace park and sun bathing.

Another few bits added...

nothing spectacular but i quite enjoyed the couple of bugs!

swoosh, scoff, snooze

Another birthday.

Had an hour's recreational skiing at Xscape, MK. Dinner with friends this evening and an early night will sandwich together the day after a lie in this morning.

Was woken at 7 with candles, E and mini-me singing happy birthday and then showering me with dozens of balloons and glitter from party poppers! I got a creme brulee torch that i've been wanting for ages and lots of cards and other gifts. Did some more painting, watched an episode of one of my heroes, David Attenborough, on that thingy on the bbc website and generally had a busy-lazy time of it.

If it wasn't for that whole aging thing I could almost wish I didn't have to wait another year!

some detail work begins

Loving my day off :)

Just a few lines

A second coat for the circles and a few lines which begin a new pattern.

progress

Making progress on the monstrosity! The colours in the picture aren't altogether true. The red is not so crimson and the yellow is actually a really attractive gold.

PILFERING...

SANDING...

REGRETTING..?

Weeks ago I noticed a shop with very similar POS to this and went in to ask them if I could have it after their promo was over. I was told I couldn't but on the way back to my car this evening I found that another shop had chucked out one of these amazing Klimt-esque trees by the wheelie bins. It took a bit of negotiating into the bug but I brought it home and have been working on it all this evening. Of course I've noticed a big bit I've missed with the paint now that I've put the photo up! It's pretty tall. I'm on a step in that first picture and it's still towering over my head. I'm going to use gold, red and white on the black to create some wacky designs then mount it on the wall in my hallway. The black paint is like tar (!) and I have it all over my hands now. It's going to take hours to dry but it'll give me something to do in all that copious spare time I never have!

anagram

Thanks to the unspeakably fabulous Emdrum, I can now use my computer and furnish kq's blog with pictures again. Huzzah!!

Today's picture is a bit of doodlin' artwork on a folder that will tell you what I am investigating this year as a new project if you can decode the two word anagram. Last year, as you may well remember, my new year's resolution was to drink more wine. In fact, I learnt a great deal about wine and command an admirable yet wholly fatuous thrawl over my drinking friends who regularly defer to me when choosing wine. Wisest is she who knows she knows nothing and all that but it's true that as soon as you start to learn about something you realise how little you know about anything.

So here's to 2008 & a new project.

the comeback post

Having been approached in public on Saturday night with the words; 'I've got something to say to you. ..... Kumquat', I have decided to put fingers to keys again and drag myself away from the delights of facebook.

Went to a kid's literary quiz this afternoon for work - manning a bookstall - but worked my way onto the authors table and joined in the quiz with them. We beat the kids. Oh yes, get us. We can beat children at quizzes about books. Actually there were kids there getting answers to really tough questions way before us - and in fact, getting the answers that we were never going to get! An amazing calibre of kids there working their way to the national finals. Lots of fun and always a pleasure to meet them thar proper people wot get published; Celia Rees, Gillian Cross, Mark Robson, Val Tyler & Linda Newberry.

Monty has run away from home 3 times this week. Me nerves are ajangle. Last time he ate (one presumes) through a leash to then scale the 7 foot walls of my back garden. First I knew of that particular escapade was the police ringing me while I was out with a bunch of fabsters at the weekend.

The noble rotters gathered on Saturday night for Alimal's birthday. It was ace :) In the afternoon, five of us played our usual 3 par 9 hole golf course which was a blast. Then in the evening, lots more of us got together chez Charlie. I particularly enjoyed getting to chat to people I 'know' but don't get to have proper conversations with that often.

Friday night I went to FNM (Friday Night Meeting) for the first time. It's a free meal for the homeless of Bedford and I went to help out where I could. Such an interesting evening. Very moving but lots of fun too. I suspect it won't be my last visit. Mini-me is doing a sponsored sleep out with a stack of other people in December to raise money for the Kings Arms Project who run FNM, a night shelter, a half way house and a stack of other services for the homeless. I will no doubt be getting back to you about that in the future. Watch this space!

Black Jack with Serge and Christophe...

French croupiers, lots of free red wine and

hitting the sack at half three in the morning.

Not a bad Christmas conference!

me real woman

me create compost!

...

blog probs.

heh

Giggled inappropriately like a girl last night as an *unnamed for legal reasons friend impersonated *unnamed for legal reasons person in a shockingly inaccurate and cruel portrayal of said person as a lascivious old man/woman.

hey, big brother read my blog 'cover to cover' once you know so i have to be cautious!

Just had to share...

A friend of mine, whilst at college, was asked by an American tourist where
she might find the baythroom. My friend replied, helpfully, that in England,
people called this the lavatory unless they were actually looking to have a full
body wash. The tourist came back with: do you hayve to be so paytronizing. My
friend replied: I think you'll find it's pronounced patronizing.

A great comment I found on the mighty palimp and it made me roar!!!

dearly beloved...

well this certainly adds a different dimension to the question about whether you want to be buried or cremated..!

http://www.atlantismemorialreef.com/home.htm

I'd like to be squished down into a brick please and used to build an underwater recreation of Atlantis. Now why on earth did it take that long to think up such an idea?

4

Today is Monty's birthday :)

Television

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?'
How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.


Roald Dahl

mal du pays

900 miles. 24 hours driving. Bedford to Nancy return. demenagement.

Took a road trip with Alimal to help her sister move back to the UK. It was a lot of fun. Essentially we got to sit and talk to each other for two lots of 12 hours which, given our respective jobs, was a real treat to do so much catching up.

The aller was sharing our histories as punctuated by boyfriends. The retour was our histories by houses. A very interesting way to get to know your best friend. Again.

We also did our top 10 desert island discs which had a few surprises here and there.

Alimal managed to talk me out of doing a tiny detour via Luxembourg and Belgium (so I could get in a couple more countries on my check list). Also I wanted to show her Chantilly, where I lived, visit Thionville where a friend lives and ..... well, we had a ferry to catch so I had to make do with collecting another stamp in my passport.

Great to be able to speak so much French again with Marc, Fidele & Didier.

Holiday

After having been completely out of the loop of what was happening on planet earth due to selling hundreds and hundreds of HP7, entertaining queues with fire eating and jelly beans, we decided to head off to the country for a spot of camping. We fancied something rural, historic, attractive and far enough away from home to feel like we were away. So off we drove. . . . . . . to Tewkesbury. Hmmm. Didn't have a clue what we were letting ourselves in for until we got to the main road in and found that it was now a lake. That's ok we think, let's just turn round and find a road that goes in the north side. Then a passerby tells us the campsite is under 5 foot of water. Interesting. Actually hilarious. Not ones to be stressed by anything as minor as a ruined holiday, we found a B&B for the first night then chanced upon Cotswold Farm Park to camp for the second night. What a fab place. If only my computer wasn't screwed up with virus', I'd be able to show you the pictures of baby goats trying to eat me!

Mini-me chose something he wanted to see at the theatre months ago and I had ordered tickets for Wednesday's production of 'Philistines' by Gorky. Wow. A really fantastic production with some amazing acting from the daughter and the father in particular. Best of all was the creme brulee in the interval...no no...i mean, best of all was seeing mini-me enjoying some proper theatre.

Another trip to CLWS in the evening which was ace though marked by the absence of General Pinotage. Wines of North-East Italy. The usual pattern of whites followed by reds and finishing with a dessert wine. If only I lived in London and didn't have to think about the train fares every time I signed up for the next evening. Now looking forward to wines of Albion!

Saw HP5 at the cinema and it was good to see the actors and actresses a few years older and their acting improving. Some very cool scenes. Lots of fun.

Last night the girls whooped the boys at Articulate in small group. As we were winning FOR THE FIRST TIME, the guys proposed we went round the board twice!!! We still beat 'em!

Today I'm meant to be playing golf with the Borrower but I can't get into contact with her :(

Later a gang of us are going to the High Ropes centre in Irthlingborough :)

Mystery

I had a letter in the post this morning addressed to me and evil spiderman just by our first names. The envelope was empty and hadn't even been sealed.

If anyone who reads my blog knows anything about it, let me know, unless it was a bill.

thanks!

News you cannot live without: i have an ENORMOUS bite on my left ankle that has been giving me grief for days and i'm ready to take a grater to it, it's so itchy.

And now for something completely different.

el lodger is going to teach me swahili. i stunned her by knowing one word of swahili. Bwana. It means 'sir' or similar term of respect to a man.

12 days to HP7 and then a weeks holiday to follow.......

...and now to go and pester mini-me for my dinner.

2 + 1

A big hand for my new lodger please. She's very cool and laughs a lot so is very welcome chez moi. She's got the measure of me pretty quickly and is already being cheeky to her landlady...but then I easily get my own back by teasing her for having lived in the bush for most of her life and being scared of traffic! She has passed the most basic tests- she likes Monty and mini-me likes her. All is well with the world.

Last night I had a fabulous 13.5 hours sleep which was long overdue.

365 & Nasi Goreng

Mini-me made another 10/10 meal last night. Nasi Goreng. An indonesian rice dish. He scrapped the ingredients he didn't like and added a couple of cinnamon sticks for the fun of it. It was incredibly good. Really succulent chicken and softened red pepper slices that had taken all the flavour of the garlic and spices. We ate it watching Gordon Ramsay cooking with Gok Wan and then finished our meal with strawberries and creme fraiche while Gordon made baked alaska.

I also took the hound out for the first time with my bike which was such fun. He's a bit wary of getting too close but once off the lead he bounds along next to me :) Although I did have to spend a great deal of time stopping so he could sniff things!

a lot of catching up

Greetings pop pickers. Sorry it's been so long. Am in the process of moving mini-me into the library and redecorating his den for a lodger who is due to arrive on Thursday THIS week!!!!! The computer is still in the library so access is restricted for adults.

A couple of Big Brother refuseniks have told me in the last month or so that they are still visiting here so I will try and keep things interesting.

I have a bike. I collected it today. Yes, gripping.

OK, move on. I have pumpkins growing in the back garden and my fennel is over 7 foot now. An interesting looking weed that i took the decision not to pull out at the beginning of the season is now about 6 foot tall and boasting some interesting flowers. The garden has become overgrown to such a delightful extent that i could hide behind the twisted willow and not be seen from 4 foot away.

However, a number of days later as I was out there with the hose pipe i heard NOISES from the garden that could only be our friendly infestation of rats. On balance I probably won't be crawling behind the willow again to prove how dense the undergrowth is.

Work continues undiminished as sickness and holiday strikes leaving me working all the hours the good lord sends. Hey ho. We have an event on the web site for this Saturday evening and if I haven't sold more tickets by tomorrow night you can all look forward to a personal summons arriving in your inboxes within 24 hours!

Church is fab, mini-me is too cool for words and this Botrytis Semillon Riverina Australian dessert wine from Tesco's finest range is a high 2. Mmm, I think I've got time for a second small glass before I go out to Villa Rosa for dinner with the planet's coolest friends.

a bientot mes amis.

bises

CLWS

It was with a deal of trepidation that Evil Batman and I walked into the Civil Service Club last Wednesday to meet the Central London Wine Society and sit at the feet of General Pinotage himself.

Given the fact that I have been trying to work out wines for a mere 5 months, it was somewhat nerve racking to sit with people who own their own wine companies, come from French wining families and drop into conversation that they have spent time working in South Africa for their Master of Wines certificate. I felt like the Philadelphia girl from some years back who tastes and says "lovely".

Of course that mostly wore off after a few glasses!

We tried Greenstone Chenin Blanc 2005 which I thought tasted a lot like white wine. Then we had 2 different Springfield Estate wines; Special Cuvee and Life from Stone. They had been harvested 2 days apart from each other last year and I was delighted to find that I could distinctly tell the difference between the two. Spurred on by the revelation that I might be able to get the hang of it and the relief of drinking something red, we moved on to a Beyerskloof Pinotage 2006 that made me feel a lot more at home. I have tried the 2005 you see. I dared a comment before the illustrious company and found I liked it more than most. It was damned with 'very commercial' which made me feel like a Tesco whore. Next was an atypical Pinotage by Allee Bleue that I also really liked. An intensely fruity, mocca chocolate wine that understandably made it into the top 10 Pinotages. Then we had the gorgeous Warwick Estate Trilogy 2004. This was less sweet and I rated it joint first with a later wine but I think it can only be bought from the Wine Society. Then we had a the Lammershoek Roulette which was warm, spicy and full bodied. Delicious. Next was the second of my joint top drinks of the night; Luddite Wine's Shiraz. Smoky and delicious. We finished with a dessert wine that was like pudding after a big roast dinner. Nederburg Wine's Noble Late Harvest 2003. Wow. It was like drinking honey. 90% Chenin Blanc, 10% Weisser Riesling. I have searched for this at Morrison's as I was told it could be bought there but to no avail so far.

It was a really good evening. I sat taking notes from the pro's all evening and learning new expressions and bits of information which keeps me happy whatever the subject. I've already signed up for another 2 evenings!

Chilford Hall.

What an inspired idea for a day out. Tripped out to Cambridgeshire to visit an English vineyard and winery. Evil Batman and I tried about 8 different wines - all white or rose. Now, I have been an avowed abstainer from white wine for a long time but having a proper tasting session and getting to pick out different flavours was really interesting. We came back with 4 bottles between us.

Current technological problems prevent me from showing you the pictures but they will get posted eventually.

The Chilford Hundred label (which needs some serious artwork) comes from the time when the land was divided up into hundred acre plots, giving enough space for an extended family to live self-sufficiently. It threw it down with rain all day so I saw precious little in the way of vines but we were shown round by a very enthusiastic lady who explained history of the winery and reason for the Anish Kapoor sculptures in the gardens!

I now have 2 estate bottled wines; a 2004 dry white & a 2003 medium white. I'm still unconvinced by sparkling wine but a chilled white I can appreciate now.

pig in paradise?

Last night I drank some Cab Sauv or other. I would probably have enjoyed it this time last year. But I was very disappointed with practically nothing on the nose, a weak body, some indistinguisable fruits and a dry finish. I did at least get to share it over the wall with an old friend. Who also didn't like it. But I think that was because it wasn't Vodka Red Bull.

dangerous at 15%

It sounds like a cool name for a band and it will definitely be my team name at the next pub quiz but in fact, dangerous at 15% was a comment at this evening's activities with the central london wine society. But you'll have to wait to find out more as it's one a.m, I've only just got in and I'm going to bed.

and miles to go before i sleep

Today I have been in Manchester, Sheffield, Chesterfield, Leicester.....ok, so I was on a train.

Back from my 1st annual managers conference. I felt ill the whole time I was away and left the free bar at half 12. Sober. Others were there for many hours more. I watched the hangovers downing coffee the next morning. After I'd had 9 hours sleep.

Conn Iggulden made it for me, I think. They should have allowed him to speak for longer. Very funny, engaging man. Louise Rennison was fabulously outrageous. Iain Banks was understated. John O'Farrell, Rory Bremner and others were there too.

The year's round up showed the marathon team who ran for Dyslexia Action and the comment that these were the best legs in the company!

I was caught on film during the day rejoicing in Man Utd's recent loss and was put up on the big screen with others who'd had odd questions sprung on them as they walked from one 'breakout' group to another, searching for water or a cool table to curl up under.

I asked for the vegetarian meal and was served sausages instead. I meant to thank the waiter for the best tasting veggie sausages I'd ever had but I missed him when he came to collect my plate!

Met a strange man with a strange picture of a strange dress and a table full of strange people looking for its wearer. Unnerving.

Speaking of changing room assistants...

...which we were last night, how about this corker that happened today.

I had to buy a posh frock for the annual conference gala dinner next week so I take this dress and cardigan thing into the cubicle. Unlike every other dress I've tried on all afternoon, this one feels like it's designed with a woman's body in mind as opposed to a barbie doll or Kitty from Arrested Development. It's red with white designs, boned top with halter neck, flared skirt a la 50's and comes to just below the knees. Now I'm not harping on about being a fatso here but I'm not as small as I used to be and I'm remarkably pleased with how well it hides my tummy. I step outside of the cubicle to look in a longer mirror and the attendants fall silent. I can see them staring behind me in the mirror. This is not awe. I turn round. 'What d'you think?' I ask tentatively. There is a long pause, I watch the window panes melt. Finally one of them says 'It's nice.' The other then swiftly chimes in 'It's a nice colour'. "Marvellous." They couldn't have been more obviously unimpressed if they'd actually pulled out sick bags and started synchronised vomiting.

I still bought it though!

Noble Rot

Noble Rot, as I'm sure you are all very well aware, is a benevolent type of mould that if left on grapes can enhance the sweetness of wine and make good dessert wines, but what you may not know is that it is also the best wine bar for miles around.

Driving past it every day on the way home from work, I noticed a man at the window one time when I was pulled up outside waiting for the lights to change. He looked rather like Paul Auster which, naturally, piqued my interest. Also, once he was holding a pen which added to this ridiculous fascination with the place. (In person he looks more like Paul Auster might in a few years time) So anyway, one day as I sat at the lights he looked at me and waved which made me grin and wave back. This is sufficient proof to me that Paul Auster is living and writing in my town. So, I keep looking at this place each day and wondering what it is. I google it and it seems as though it's a wine bar that has live music. Only when I drive past it after dark one evening and I can see inside do I realise it's a must for the Chianti Club. So last night I took them there. They were slightly nervous, I think because my description made me sound like I was stalking a strange man on one of Bedford's nastier streets because he looked like someone who lives thousands of miles away but the place looks nice after dark. I should write for Lonely Planet, don't you think?

So we turn up and IT IS MAGICAL!! Paul, who we should now address as Charlie, welcomes us in with 'Hello girls, do we know you?' The place is on two levels with a quaint little set of steps up to the higher level. The bar itself is all antique dark wood making it feel like so many French bars I've been in. The wine bottles are ranged against the wall on a rack to rival anything I've seen before. The lights are all cut glass chandeliers, quite French Baroque. The walls are sparse but with some large pieces of art. The whole place is amazing shabby-chic.

Charlie comes to the table with an impressive wine list and asks us all where we work and tells us how wonderfully interesting we are. We are all immediately enamoured with this eccentric and endearing gentleman who may or may not be three sheets to the wind!

The choice of wine is happily deferred to myself and we start with a £16 bottle of South African Pintotage. It is excellent. The conversation and company, outstanding. We discuss everything. Charlie promises to come and talk to us about how it all started with a Hillman Imp. That never materialised but he was charming and quirky and everything a wine bar owner should be. We felt transported out of Bedford and that's worth every penny of wine! I found myself choosing a £25 bottle of Rioja Reserve that made us all 'oooh'. Really good.

We were one member down last night but it was the first evening for a new recruit. So the club's membership swells to 7.

The best moment of the evening was when Alimal arrived after FNM and Liz went to the door to show her where we were sitting, 'Oh, this is Charlie. Charlie could we have the wine list again please?' You have to have lived in Bedford for several years to know how funny and atypical such a scenario is!

On the way out we were all embraced and thanked so much for our custom and kind words - again, when does that ever happen? So I just said that next time he was sat at his window and waved to someone in a car he would know it was me. He was so touched. It really was just an exceptionally homely, friendly evening that must be repeated before long - next time with the A and Phillipe.

Feed me!! I'm starving!!

Planted seeds in a couple of terracotta pots this evening then took them round to unsuspecting friends and refused to tell them what I had given them! ha ha ha. I have a pot that is 2 weeks ahead of them. The only instruction was; 'If it ever fruits, don't eat it.'

This has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I watched The Little Shop of Horrors last week.

pictures from Tony Harrison reading.

spoilt rotten

I am so spoilt with good friends. Thank you all.

Last night The Chianti Club went out to the Cambridge Arts Cinema to watch Spiderman III. My deconstruction on the way back to the car was ridiculed but...but... a malaevolent meteor out of space landing right next to Spiderman as the basis for an entire film? I mean, even suspending disbelief that was left unexplained..... ok, ok I've done that one already!

(don't i know that guy on the right@?)

This evening I had mexican dinner with MAJJ. We had fajitas and talked photography, magnetic fruit and how the Morrow family called my family riff raff and moved house because of how my brother and I fought / played together in the back garden!

And this evening, with mini-me back home after another gad about, we sat with home made popcorn and cinnamon sugar, watching the last of Arrested Development, series III.

"It's not my trick, Michael. It's my illusion."

mousse aka aubergine and mince

Cooked moussaka then went online to see how to make it. My lucky dip made me put in cinnamon and cayenne pepper. That worked lovely. Didn't get the egg plant quite right In the oven for an hour and still not quite cooked. Hmm. Good job I opened a bottle of Chianti.

meeting a hero

Saturday evening I met one of my heroes. My favourite living poet, Tony Harrison.

He read his poetry and talked. It was an incredible evening. His words are so jam packed with truth and emotion. It was a stunning evening and I was euphoric to have heard him and been able to speak to him afterwards.

As you know, my moniker of kumquat comes from my favourite TH poem; 'A Kumquat for John Keats'. He read 'Bookends' that evening and the power of his voice was electrifying. I hope you appreciate it too;

Baked the day she suddenly dropped dead

we chew it slowly that last apple pie.

Shocked into sleeplessness you're scared of bed.

We never could talk much, and now don't try.

You're like book ends, the pair of you, she'd say,

Hog that grate, say nothing, sit, sleep, stare…

The 'scholar' me, you, worn out on poor pay,

only our silence made us seem a pair.

Not as good for staring in, blue gas,

too regular each bud, each yellow spike.

At night you need my company to pass

and she not here to tell us we're alike!

You're life's all shattered into smithereens.

Back in our silences and sullen looks,

for all the Scotch we drink, what's still between 's

not the thirty or so years, but books, books, books.

quelle soiree!

Writer's group this evening was..........one to remember!

I had submitted close on 2k words that went down very well and i felt reet buoyed up...until Mole dropped his bombshell. They're moving. To Norfolk. By the end of the summer. But like I said, after I'd booed in the toilet and had wiped away most of the tears, "I never liked you anyway."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_for_Norfolk..... but I'm sure they know what they're doing.

wine update

Thanks to General Pinotage for recommending Morisson's Pinotage in the 'The Best' range. 2005. £6.99. It really is excellent. I vote as a high 2!

quoi de neuf?

Voila mon blog pour mes amis de MYM. Un petit note plus simple a lire pour vous. Comme des petits gosses avec un livre, vous pouvez regarder les images meme si les mots ne dis rien!!

il n'y a qu'un regle ici. interdit de parler d'ou je bosse parce qu'il ya des manageres qui lissent me mots. Apart ca, je serais tres contente si vous trouvez qq moments a repondre.

bis x

old?

Who could have thought that middle age could be so much fun? This evening I planted sweet peas, gourds and rocket, had mini me cook dinner & sat down to do some creative writing with a third glass of really very good Rioja.(Club Privado, Baron de Ley, 2003) Of course all I've done is reread some old material and play web boggle but it's been a great evening!

38347

horse guard's parade with smiles of relief all round. over 9K raised for dyslexia action. the quotable tim said 'can we have one lady each' about this photo. i'm sure he meant 'shall we stand boy girl boy girl for this photo' but it came out wrong....
philip's medal seemed to suggest he had finished 27th but i may be putting a degree of spin on that. the main thing is he finished! as did a number of other venerable names...

No sign of the giant running bakewell tarts or the troupe of prisoners all chained together in this photo. This is Philip at 20.5 miles.

Just beyond 'the wall' and the pain has really begun to set in.

Good effort chaps.

Striking a pose of such effortless nonchalence after 26 miles takes some doing!

weekend firsts

Walking around Bedford and down by the river without binoculars I can identify a good 25-30 different types of bird. (wren, robin, blackbird, song thrush, grey heron, black-headed gull, chaffinch, great tit, blue tit, moorhen, coot, mallard, muscovy duck, mute swan, canada goose, greylag goose, common tern, treecreeper, green woodpecker, crow, lapwing, wood pigeon, collared dove, magpie, pochard, tree sparrow etc) but yesterday I heard my first cuckoo of spring. So notoriously difficult to spot as to be taken for a ventriloquist and as mole so poetically put it; 'Ah, smaller birds nests are being robbed and taken over even as we speak"'

Today I'm off down to London to see my first ever marathon take place. Having talked others into this hare brained scheme, I spectacularly failed to get a place leaving them to run on their own! I'm disappointed of course but I think relief is the greater emotion at the moment! So I shall be muscling my way through the 26 mile street party to try and get 5 seconds of shouting 'go team waterstones' or somesuch.

15

Mini-me turned 15 today. I don't know how he did it but I congratulated him on turning into this enormous creature that I could hold in one arm not so long back. And now he has left me for another week of adventure. This time north Wales at Blue Perris.