23 April 2005

News for y'aaall

Having a couple of South Carolinian friends staying for the weekend so here I am at quarter to ten waiting for the sauce to finish cooking to go with the meatballs I prepared earlier before I start on the desserts, the cleaning and the nervous break down.

22 April 2005

Last night I went to see my mate's band, Black Ramps, play The Marquee in Leicester Square. They were great, of course.
I met Big Dog again and
marvelled at his big girly dancing, the touching moment when I led him to make a link between drunkeness and drink (it was like a light going on) and the routine late night leaping o'er phone box banter. Splendid stuff. How odd to jump over nettles when they don't grow this far south.
Who should be in the audience but Ronny from Eastenders! I had to have him pointed out, as I haven't yet watched an entire
episode.
Anonymous, who frequents this site and can occassionally be dubbed 'borrower', was also in attendance and much merriment did we have
listening to her stories of previous drunken revellry.
If my memory serves me correctly, the evening
concluded with Big Dog promising to buy all the drinks next time we're out.
>winks and points<

20 April 2005

classic work days

Customer comes in asking for a book by "Grievous Phinn".
Customer comes in and asks where they can buy first edition Harry Potter.
Customer comes in and asks 'how much is the 3 for 2?'
Customer comes in and stands in the humour section reading jokes out loud to himself and laughing raucously.
Customer comes in and asks about a book for which they do not have the title or author but it's something about a dog.
Customer comes in and asks if we have a list of all the new books.
Customer comes in and asks where the Da Vinci code is. (This is funny on so many levels)
Customer comes in and asks if I'm looking on the shelves for the book he wrote. It's a fictional work yet I'm in the crime section. Oh the irony. You'd think he would know it was a work of fiction. And incidentally no I'm not looking for your book. Why should I when the front cover looks like it's been photocopied and the writing makes me look back with respectful nostalgia to Peter and Jane books.
Customer faffing at chip and pin machine forces me to comment that if they struggle reading highlighted words in bold writing on a lit screen in front of them, how do they imagine they will complete a whole book.
Customer incapable of inserting card into chip and pin machine has me wondering if I should recommend they go to the Early Learning Centre and buy a shape sorter to take home for practice.

19 April 2005

Do it yourself AKA Lou, can you do it?

I am living in a reinforced house with impenetrable walls. I suspect something in the order of superveillance and subterfuge. Possibly I just have really hard walls I can't get a drill through. Two of us were pushing against the drill to try and get a hole in the wall, for Stan's sake. All is not lost though. I have three solid hooks, two firm candlesticks and a bit of sturdy work top. Just don't TOUCH them!!!

18 April 2005

Wonderful Web

Today nothing of any consequence happened therefore I have been trawling through some blogs to bring you the best and the cheesiest of blog entries. Enjoy the ride.

http://dvr4u.blogspot.com/
"Keller Graduate School of Management Adult students have multiple real-world demands"

Thunderbird School? So they're named after a low budget puppet show and their claim to academic excellence is that their students can do more than one thing at a time? Genius. Where do I sign?

oOo
" 'I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.' Isaac Asimov. What this quote is saying is not to be affraid of computers and be affraid of what it could do. "
So how about you start with spell check, honey?
oOo
lately
Ive been obsessed with images,
so many things youll forget in life,
people, places, feelings,
Im terrified of forgetting,
so now I photograph,
my life and thoughts,
so Ill never forget.
With poetry like this, who wants a good memory?
oOo
"All about me!
Things About Me. I am perfectionistI am broke… not really though. I just want money to shop!I easily fall in love with something (not someone because it’s a different thing)."
What were you perfecting the day you skipped grammar class, lady?

17 April 2005

A Prayer for Owen Money

High Lord Stanley, to whom I have already offered up an initial £17.98, instructest me thou that I should continue to sacrifice monetary offerings at the holy shrines of Do it All? I have today vowed allegiance to all things copper and steel by purchasing some screwdrivers, something zinc with hookey bits and a bradawl. Forgive me for the cheap plastic tool box, it's only a standby 'til I can pilfer the offering bag of loose change by the phone and invest in something more fitting to your cause. I will take the time to read thoroughly the most sacrasanct of treatise, the UpStanishads, in order to open my mind to all the wonders you have in the store for me. For now I drink deeply from the new red and white spotty tea cup of reverence and ponder the many tea breaks you will deign to afford me as I, in my own meagre way, try to afford you.
Amen.