30 November 2006

Homeland security announcement

Subject: Teacher arrested at JFK airport NEW YORK -

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

29 November 2006


tonight i plucked up the courage to go and run with http://www.kingsafc.co.uk/ chaps while they did their mid-week training. I've been missing out on so much running time because it's dark by the time I leave in the evening. This way I get to run for as long as I can round a floodlit pitch. Kind of scary cos I only knew 2 of the guys there and I don't expect the others knew who the hell I was! I went for a modest 26.5 minutes which isn't bad considering I haven't actually run for quite a few days.