19 May 2007

Speaking of changing room assistants...

...which we were last night, how about this corker that happened today.

I had to buy a posh frock for the annual conference gala dinner next week so I take this dress and cardigan thing into the cubicle. Unlike every other dress I've tried on all afternoon, this one feels like it's designed with a woman's body in mind as opposed to a barbie doll or Kitty from Arrested Development. It's red with white designs, boned top with halter neck, flared skirt a la 50's and comes to just below the knees. Now I'm not harping on about being a fatso here but I'm not as small as I used to be and I'm remarkably pleased with how well it hides my tummy. I step outside of the cubicle to look in a longer mirror and the attendants fall silent. I can see them staring behind me in the mirror. This is not awe. I turn round. 'What d'you think?' I ask tentatively. There is a long pause, I watch the window panes melt. Finally one of them says 'It's nice.' The other then swiftly chimes in 'It's a nice colour'. "Marvellous." They couldn't have been more obviously unimpressed if they'd actually pulled out sick bags and started synchronised vomiting.

I still bought it though!


Anonymous said...

Mate - i look at your page every so often just to see what my friend has been up to. I must be honest, most of what you say on here goes completely over my head on an intellectual and language basis so I was totally delighted when I came across the 'dressing room' blog - now I know what you're talking about!!! I have had many experiences similar to yours and I just don't learn! I still put myself in that horrific situation where I ask the assistants... why don't I just take a friend, they are nicer!!! See you soon, Helen x p.s. Dress sounds lovely!

kumquat said...

Thank you!! I was pretty pleased with it actually. Even mini-me gave it the thumbs up and he can be brutally honest. He'll make someone a lovely husband!