15 October 2006

customer service

1st exchange:

customer: I was wondering if you had any small guide books on eunuchs.
me: eunuchs?
customer: yes. eunuchs.
me: ummm, I think it's not very likely....(trails off)
customer: it's just that I see you have books here on 'Linux' but I was really after something on Unix.
me: Ah, Unix let me have a look for you.....

2nd exchange:

customer:hello, do you have an english book?
me: what kind of english book?
customer: I don't know, I can't remember the title.
me: Something like an english literature book?
customer: No (with voice of disdain)
me: umm, teaching english as a foreign language
customer: no
me: What kind of English book? I need to know which department you're interested in.
customer: I can't remember the title but if you tell me where it would be I can go and look.
me: I know, how about you get out of my shop, go home, work out what the hell you want then come back and ask a sensible question. (thought only!)


A bookseller has written 'FICTION' on a piece of paper for the stock take guys but the writing is joined up so the F and I are slightly merged together. The stock take guy who obviously hasn't spent a great deal of time drinking from the fountain of knowledge approaches a different, and coincidentally gay, member of staff, holds out the piece of paper to him and says "I'm looking for ACTION."


blueduck said...


Anonymous said...

It's a times like these that i miss working with the public...


Anonymous said...

why is it that army hierarchy is opposite to public standing?

General Public.

Private Beach.

Your call.

This was inspired by Lou. I must come to Bedford soon.


kumquat said...

I just sent you a text inviting you up then I get home and find you've said you have to come up soon. Genius. I'd take that as a sign and make sure you turn up for the partay.

phillie said...

"Do you have a book in stock called 'The Da Vinci Cook'?"
".......Do you mean, 'The Da Vinci Code'?"
"Errmmm....it's for a friend. I dunno."
"Do you know what it's about?"
"Well, do you know whether or not your friend wanted a cookbook or a novel?"
"Errr...I dunno. Is 'The Da Vinci Code a cookbook?"
"Hmmm....I'd better ring her and find out."
"That would be a very good idea."

Anonymous said...

It is genius. Looks like I'm coming to Bedford to party!

kumquat said...

Oh that is a priceless customer moment. How did you keep a straight face????? Hilarious. Nothing tops "I'm looking for action" though :)

great news big dog. huzzah. might get round to sending out invites at some point. only i dunno where you live.

big dog

Will that reach you?