A Prayer for Owen Money

High Lord Stanley, to whom I have already offered up an initial £17.98, instructest me thou that I should continue to sacrifice monetary offerings at the holy shrines of Do it All? I have today vowed allegiance to all things copper and steel by purchasing some screwdrivers, something zinc with hookey bits and a bradawl. Forgive me for the cheap plastic tool box, it's only a standby 'til I can pilfer the offering bag of loose change by the phone and invest in something more fitting to your cause. I will take the time to read thoroughly the most sacrasanct of treatise, the UpStanishads, in order to open my mind to all the wonders you have in the store for me. For now I drink deeply from the new red and white spotty tea cup of reverence and ponder the many tea breaks you will deign to afford me as I, in my own meagre way, try to afford you.
Amen.